Yesterday, I took a step that I've probably needed to take for nearly two-and-a-half years. I reached a grief milestone. I finally found the courage to seek counsel by beginning a program called Grief Share. This is a 13-week interactive course done in a small group setting. It is offered through various platforms across the country, but I found it through my church. Grief Share is for all types of people facing all types of loss - parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, and yes...infant children.
It is not formal counseling so much as group "talk therapy". There are no licensed psychologists, just a room of humble human beings - joined by the common thread of pain and loss - allowing themselves to be vulnerable in one another's presence.
Each week, as part of my walk through this program, I want to share some key take-aways that might help others walking this path. And this week, the message that resonated with my heart was simple, but so profound to me. And after 27 months, it changed the way I view my own struggle with grief. It is this:
Grief = Love
As we watched the first video of this series, these are the words I jotted down:
"If there were no love, there would be no grief."
"Grief is a sign of love."
"Grief is the price you pay for loving someone."
Over, and over, and over this message of love penetrated my heart. I grieve for my baby because I Ioved her. Because I still love her. Because I will always love her.
Pain is the price I pay for love.
It may sound simple, but it totally transformed my outlook. Because now when I experience that grief, when I feel that pain - I feel it and see it for what it is - LOVE.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. - Matthew 5:4