Subtle shifts.

In just two weeks, sweet girl, you will begin 1st grade.

How is that even possible?!

It’s like there are these slow, subtle shifts – but the change always seems so sudden.

I feel like I’ve felt with a lot of your other “firsts” 

your first day of daycare

your first steps

your first birthday

your first day of preschool… and then kindergarten

your first lost tooth

your first play date

your first best friend… and then your next

I am excited for your next new chapter but sad for the pages that have already passed us by. 

I’m looking forward to the structure and routine of a new school year but will miss the more forgiving days of summer. 

I am equal parts anxious and eager to see how you learn and adapt to your new environment this year. 

I miss my little girl, but I adore my little lady. 

I hate knowing that friends will hurt your feelings (and you theirs) but find such joy in watching you learn how to build real relationships.

For six years now, I’ve watched you shift and change and grow. I haven’t loved every second, but I’ve loved every season. And even though I know change is coming – it’s always coming – it still wrecks me every time. 

You are fierce and wild – not everyone’s cup of tea. And sis, that’s ok with me. 

Your beauty is evident but also so intricate.

You fight hard but love harder. 

Your smile warms my heart and your laughter fills my soul.

I know I can’t stop time. I probably wouldn’t if I could. Slow it down, maybe (except for bedtime…I could do with a fast-forward button during bedtime)

But I’m sure I’ll even miss that someday. You yelling for one more book. Begging for one more back tickle. Fighting with your sister every. dang. night.

Yes, I will miss this one day. But in the meantime, I don’t want to miss it. 

So I promise, sweet girl, mama will do her best. I’ll do my best to step away from work so I can step into your world. I’ll set down my phone to sit on the floor with you. I’ll lay down my list so I can lay in bed a little longer. I’ll say no to other things so I can say YES to you. 

Because in two weeks it will be your first day of 1st grade. But in two blinks, it will be the next phase and then the next.

So I’ll do my best, Lexi Rae, to stay a little longer with you in those subtle shifts.