The Twins Turn 5

I thought that on their 5th birthday I would have so much to say. That the words would just pour out of my heart like they so often do. But honestly, there just are no words. At least not tonight.

These two little girls…. they changed me forever. Yes, they made me a mama. But it is so much more than that. Their story is complex. It is full of happiness and heartache. Gratitude and grief. In their story is written some of the best days of my life… and also some of the worst.

Their lives are distinctly different but intricately interwoven. And although they are individually unique, they are undeniably a pair.

Tonight was beautiful. The weather seemed to mirror the status of my heart — beautiful and warm but also a little overcast. Celebrating life while mourning loss. The loss of what could’ve been. The loss of a life I can only dream about. But overwhelming joy that this story is mine. And I suppose that my life will always come with this sort of juxtaposition.

Emmy & Lexi, it is one of my life’s greatest honors that God chose me as your mama. Part of me hesitates to even write these words because I have such a longing in my heart for how things could’ve been — but I don’t think that I would rewrite your story even if I could because it has made us who we are. And I will always cling to the TRUTH that God’s plan is greater than my own. That He is working for my good... and yours.

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!