7 Years - Forged In The Fire

7 years.

There is no itch — but it certainly has not been easy.

We were not young — but we were undeniably naïve.

 I remember both of us wondering why people said marriage would be hard. I mean, maybe for some people — but not for us, obviously. Because we were sooooo in love.

 [insert eye roll]

Neither one of us had any idea the challenges we would face in just seven years together. We never would have believed that there would be days we would look at each other and feel like we didn’t even recognize the person we married. Or that we would wonder how we ever thought we were compatible in the first place. We would have adamantly argued that our passion would never wane, and our hearts would never wander…never to a different person, but maybe to a different version of our life. I mean, we were just sure... our marriage would be different.

Seriously — naïve.

These may feel like strange sentiments to share on one’s anniversary. We’re all more accustomed to seeing sentiments like “7 years with my best friend!” Which y’all, is perfectly fine if that’s your truth.

But I didn’t name this space Honestly Hummel for nothing. And even though I am sharing about how hard some seasons have been, I can also proudly proclaim that we are still working toward our happy ending. 

Recently, there was a sermon at our church about how God often uses fire to forge His people. And as I reflect on my marriage today, I honestly can’t think of a better analogy.

The phrase “to forge” carries a couple different meanings:

1 – to make or shape by heating in a fire or furnace (yes this is referring to metal…but work with it.)

2 – to create (a relationship or new conditions)

In this metaphor, I think both meanings have relevance.

 In a furnace, things are typically meant to be burned by the blaze. But fire can also be used to forge – to strengthen and refine and reform. 

In seven years, I can say that there have been a lot of fires in our marriage. Some of them very visible (the loss of one of our daughters), some more silent battles (that are still being fought). Some of these fires we are still working through…and may be for the rest of our lives. 

But here are a couple of take-aways from this sermon that I believe to be 100% true in my life and marriage:

• God is faithful, even in the fire.

• God is good, even if we occasionally get burnt.

• Got uses fire to forge faith – sometimes in us, but also in those watching our story unfold.

• God wants to display HIS GLORY through OUR STORY. Yes, and Amen.

The truth is, we are are all going to come under fire at some point in our lives. In our jobs. In our marriages. With our kids. In this broken, messy world. It is inevitable. The question is…will we let the fire burn and destroy us – or will we let God use the fire to reshape and reform us for the better? 

Seven years in, and we are still choosing the latter. And I am dang proud of that.

In all honesty,