Dear Bubba,
One month. We are due to meet you in just one month, little man.
Around here, you are affectionately known as “bubba” and it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever.
Your sisters could not be more excited to meet you. They talk to you, give you kisses and love on you every. single. day.
Your daddy… Well, he’s a big softy and I’m pretty sure he is going to be a puddle at the site of you. And of course, he’s looking forward to at least a small shift in the gender ratio at the #HummelHomestead.
And your mama... I am feeling what the cool kids call #allthethings (but don’t be fooled, I am not that cool) I am anxious in the best kind of way to hold you in my arms. Part of me is ready right now (not literally ready... I mean, let me get a bag packed first!) but another part of me is sad to think about this season of just you and me coming to an end. I am terrified. After three girls, I have no idea how to raise a little boy. I’m worried about the little things like teaching you how to pee without getting it all over the floor — and about the big things like how to guide you in becoming a man of God. It all feels a little overwhelming and uncertain. But the one thing I AM certain of is that when I lay eyes on you for the first time my heart might explode.
Despite the circumstances of the past several months (I’m looking at you COVID) and life looking so much different than it did in November when we first found out about you, I cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone. I want time to slow down. I want to be able to savor this season more. But the fact is, life is busy and your sisters keep us on our toes and I’m just doing the very best I can to find quiet moments alone with you before I have to share you with the world.
Your daddy took this picture of me a couple of weeks ago while we were in Colorado. As we were hiking through RMNP, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the vastness of the world around me. They say “it’s a small world” which is true in so many ways. Yet... it is also big and diverse and full of so much opportunity.
It sounds so cliché, but as I stood among those trees savoring the alone time with you and your daddy, I couldn’t help but think “This little boy can change the world. He can move mountains.” And I believe that to be true.
The world is big, little man. But our God — He is bigger. The world can sometimes seem dark and scary. But God is our light and He has overcome the darkness.
I pray so many things for you. I pray that your life is filled with joy and love and purpose. I know that you will stumble and that life will be hard sometimes, but I pray those times are few and far between. Above all, I pray that you find a faith so strong that it cannot be shaken. That even when life is hard and the world seems dark and scary, you have peace beyond understanding. I pray that you see this world and the people in it the way God sees them. I pray that you are a light in the darkness.
Bubba, I love you with all that I am. There are no words to describe a mama’s love for her son. I can’t wait to meet you... but please don’t get in a hurry!
Big love little man,
Your Mama
