I can do hard things.

I can do hard things.
I CAN do hard things.
I can DO hard things.
I can do HARD things.
I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

I am posting this tonight because quite frankly — I need it. I need to hear these words and let them sink into my soul.

Because while I ABSOLUTELY believe in the power of perspective and having gratitude for #allofthethings I have going for me (and yes...there are a lot) I also DO NOT believe in minimizing my own struggles. They are real and they are valid and they are HARD.

Lately, it has felt like the "good" and "bad" of my life are in constant juxtaposition. They are both/and. In equal but contrasting parts.

Examples.

My husband's job is taking him on the road A LOT more lately, which means I have been carrying a lot more weight at home and with the kids. I am incredibly grateful he is busting his butt to provide for our family, but often jealous (and occasionally resentful) because of the freedom this travel gives him. I am working a full-time job and taking care of 3 "babies" and I am TIRED, Y'ALL.

When my husband is gone more, I honestly feel like I get more quality time with my kids which is SO incredible and fills my cup in SO MANY ways...but is also incredibly exhausting and drains me mentally, emotionally, physically — all the "allys"

When the hubs isn't doing his "day job" he is usually investing his time + energy in one of his (several) "side hustles" which means there isn't a lot of time left for me. He works a lot of nights and many weekends and in all the margins of any given day. And while I often feel somewhat slighted because I want more of him for myself, I am also so exhausted and depleted that I just want to be alone.

Then there's my job. Extremely flexible but also absolutely "on-demand" which makes me feel out of control at times. Incredibly grateful for the freedom it provides but frustrated when it pulls me away at inconvenient times (like when I'm alone trying to get three kids to bed...)

I want more time with my girlfriends. But more time with them means less time for my family.

I want to work out more consistently. But working out more means resting less.

I want to write more. But writing more means getting less sleep.

Every night I face the dilemma — get more checked off the list, or check-out and recharge.

These things may seem trivial. But in this season of life, they feel incredibly heavy.

It comes down to this: every single thing I choose or my husband chooses or we choose together — it comes at a cost. And some things cost us more than others. And investing in one place means divesting in another. And a lot of times, a positive deposit for him means a negative withdraw from me (and vice-versa).

And as long as we're overusing economic analogies... WE ARE BOTH DEEP IN DEBT RIGHT NOW, Y'ALL.

And yes, I know it's just a season. And in some ways (knowing it will not always be this way...) that does make it easier. But in others (knowing it will not always be this way!) it makes every day and every decision feel even more consequential.

The thing is, we all have hard things. But I can do hard things. And so can you, sis.