One Year.

We all have one — a story. Our own version of the day we realized that life, as we knew it, had changed. That things were going to be different. That our world had had become uncertain. That our routines had been indefinitely disrupted.

Having a moment in time when the reality of it all truly sunk in — we all share that in common. But the details for each of us — the little intricacies and the far-reaching impacts — are all a little different.

For our family, the first glimpse came on March 13th — a year ago yesterday. I was at my parents’ with the girls enjoying spring break while my husband was at home tending to the farm. My mom, having spent her entire professional career in education, saw the shifts happening. She warned us it might be coming. Then we got the e-mail from our oldest daughter’s preschool that the school would be closed until April 1st. Inconvenient, but do-able. We’d get through a tough couple of weeks, the buzz around this virus thing would quiet down and we’d pick up right where we left of a few weeks earlier.

Four days later, the state of Kansas – along with most of the nation – closed schools for the remainder of the spring semester. And by the end of March our lives were unrecognizable. We were only leaving our homes for necessities. Working parents were trying to simultaneously learn how to do their jobs remotely AND take over the primary role of educating their kids. People couldn’t find basic necessities like toilet paper and hand sanitizer, because fear had brought out the selfishness and self-preservation buried deep in our humanity. And peoples’ smiles, if they had one, were covered by masks.

We watched the worst of it unfold in places like New York and California. Those of us in rural, remote communities thought maybe, just maybe “the virus” wouldn’t ever reach us. We hoped it would all just blow over in a few weeks time.

But those weeks turned into months. And the Coronavirus did reach into even the most remote corners of our country. And although some of us were affected more than others, all of us were affected.

Vacations were cancelled. Extended families were kept apart. Jobs were lost. Small businesses went under. Families were financially devastated. Marriages crumbled. People kept dying. And fear kept creeping in.

People were divided. Friendships were severed. And if someone didn’t see it our way, they were wrong. Period.

Now, the months have turned into a whole year. And there’s a vaccine, but people are divided about that, too. And although things feel generally more optimistic…

The damage that has been caused is extensive. The division in our nation runs deep. The long-term effects are generally unknown and (I believe) grossly underestimated. The fallout of the last year will not be realized for many more.

It’s been an entire year since I wrote on this calendar. And I haven’t been able to erase it. I don’t know why, really, but like many of us I’m sure I haven’t fully tapped into the grief I feel over what we have collectively lost. Most of all, probably, our innocence.

But through it all — the fear, the loss, the chaos, the stress, the grief, the division, the uncertainty — there has been one constant. God.

God is near the broken hearted (ahem...US). And although He may be sad (this broken world was not what he had planned for us) He is NOT surprised at what is happening or scared about what’s next or uncertain about the future in any way. He knows the beginning the middle and the end. And he’s speaking into all of these things we are feeling...if we just listen...

Fear: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.”

Loss: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Chaos: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Stress: “...In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Grief: “Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

Division: “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.”

Uncertainty: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Because God is good — even when life isn’t.